The Cliff Edge

Truth is, I’m pretty crap at recognising when I need to stop and take a break. I don’t know I’m near the edge of the cliff until I’ve gone headfirst over it.

With the grief and stress I went through after my first husband died, I seemed to lose my buffer and couldn’t tell where the edge of the cliff was anymore. I couldn’t work such long hours, stay up late or pack too much into my day. If I did, I'd suddenly flip out over pretty minor stuff.

At the time, I thought this made me a weaker person. I needed to have a nap – how shameful! I needed days off to manage my mental wellness and sometimes I left parties early because I was all talked out.

Now, I know that this is actually a blessing. It means that I (mostly) just look after myself all the time, and never even get close to the cliff edge. Stressful stuff is so much easier to live through when you’re not worried about it making your cup overflow and spill all over people you care about. And looking after yourself is such a beautiful act, just like it is when you take care of anyone you love.